Have you ever experienced a powerful time of worship and clearly heard the voice of God? I remember when I was about 14 years old hearing God calling me to go up to a microphone at a Christian camp during our campfire. I heard him insistently calling me, but I had no idea what he wanted me to say and was terrified of responding. I remember sitting there with my heart pounding, saying, "I can't" to God. This would be the first of many times that I would say to God, "I can't" or "I don't want to God." For many years I have felt that because I have closed my ears to God, afraid of what he might tell me, that I don't hear him as clearly as I might. It all boils down to something I remember saying to someone in my youth group in high school, "I want to be a Christian, but I don't want to be THAT kind of Christian." By "that" I meant sold out, which in my mind meant "a little crazy" because even at that time I knew that not only was God real, but that he would sometimes show up and do things and ask things that were scary and unpredictable.
I wrote several blogs ago about meeting Kenny, a homeless man that I had known many years ago. It might seem from that blog that I am a bold or super spiritual person. Well, I'm not. For that one time I stopped and spoke with Kenny, there were probably hundreds of times in New York City that I have walked by a homeless person saying, "Please God, please don't tell me to talk to that person." It's the honest truth.
So, where am I getting with all this? Well, listening to the voice of God AND responding is a journey I am on. The more I listen AND obey, the more I hear. In my heart I want to say, "God you can count on me. I'm listening." But there are a lot of "but"s..."but not if...", "but not now....", "but I don't feel like it". How about you? I suspect if you are reading this that I am not alone. Now that this is established, I want you to know that you are not alone either.
What now? Well, how about trying baby steps? That's the path I'm on. I take a small step of faith with other believers. I might think, "That person seems like she might need prayer. God, do you want me to ask her if she would like prayer?" I might hear "Yes." and ask the question again and receive another "Yes." Then, I might ask her, "Would you like me to pray with you?". She may or may not answer '"yes", but most times, I do find that there is confirmation that I was hearing correctly. Other times, I have to have faith and trust God and leave it. It's scary, yes, but the more I take these baby steps instead of finding rejection, anger, or confusion, I find great unpredictable joy. It's not just happiness, but deep, deep joy in being used by the Father.
What about you? How might God be calling you? Are there small opportunities for you to take a baby step of faith and respond to the voice of God? If you don't know, ask God and be ready for what he wants to tell you.
